Category Archives: Adoption Preparation I told you I’ve been reflecting while at the beach with my sweet family…that seems to happen often in this momma’s heart when I get away–as so often I’m crazy chasing littles, homeschooling and scrambling for what’s for dinner much too late in my day. I’ve also been reflecting as any transition for one of […] Every since we met Katherine Heigl when Frankie baby made his debut in her film “Life as We Know it” (you can read about that crazy fun here), we’ve been Heigl fans. We got to talk adoption at the post filming dinner party–and it was such fun as we were waiting for our referral of […] Oh Andrea, what a heart tugging film . Our prayers continue for your health. I want to show Doc and Trey those #’s …they may have some idea or will confirm to be patient and push on ! Bless you so much. You have been an inspiration for so many and we know this is “not fun” so, hoping that you remain strong and healthy as you take it dya to day. Father Lopez today asked the students to memorize that LIGHT IS THE SHADOW OF GOD….I have thought about that al day and just love the message and wanted to share with you ! Oh my … I am officially undone. Beautiful. Hi Andrea! Just wanted to comment on the fact that that was a beautiful song and video!! Thanks for sharing!! And, how fun that Frank was in that movie- it was a cute one! Praying that you are feeling better soon and they can find some answers…my hubby had lyme disease too. It is awful and takes its toll on your body. I was recently diagnosed with Lyme disease and a friend of mine sent me to your blog. I see that this post is from a while ago and was just wondering if you’d be willing to offer up and advise or hope. Cayte Hirschburg is a dear adoption mommy friend of mine–and today they finalized their adoption of their sweet Sadie who they brought home from Hong Kong earlier this year. Their video is AMAZING! And God totally used this family in our lives as He began to lead us to Asia to bring home a little […] Love this! Great video! Andrea, you have the knack making me cry. I love adoption but not sure if we are called to it. I will know if my husband tells me that God tell we need to adopt. Thanks for always sharing! Blessings and Merry Christmas! Beautiful! I LOVE the siblings reactions to meeting their sister for the first time! Precious! I have a precious adoption mommy friend who brought home a little boy earlier this year from the same orphanage our Isaac lived in for many months. Lauren’s husband is a pastor–and they are following the Lord to grow their family AGAIN through adoption to bring home their 2nd child also from Ethiopia. They will […]  I have a whole list of things to catch y’all up on! BUT–wanted to let y’all hear from one of my adoption momma friends Heather Redmore FIRST. Adoption is something near and dear to my heart–and special needs adoption too! I wanted to let Heather share with y’all a specific need–and how YOU guys can […] wow! what a GOD story!!!! off to give my $5! 🙂 Andrea, just wanted to tell you how wonderfully caring your readers are! 113 people followed the link to our site in the short time it’s been up. Thank you Babe of my Heart readers! I love telling our story and I love that people want to hear it. 🙂 |
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Andrea- this is so incredibly beautiful. I can’t tell you how much these words touched my heart. I appreciate your honesty and sincerity and for sharing this amazing song too.
Such a beautifully written expression of redeeming love. Thank you for stepping up to help so many families through the “first years.”
He does make all things beautiful in its time!
Jessica
beautiful. all of it.
Love the message of redemption here—this is beautifully written, feels like you got right inside my heart.
As someone who also agrees that thost agency trainings are a joke and who loves ETC, THANK YOU for this post 🙂
I’m tucking this away to read and re-read now and in the future. Thank you for your honesty and sharing your story!
Andrea, this is so timely as I have been mulling over many of the same thoughts you share here. We are only 6 mths in to a domestic adoption from foster care and already it looks almost nothing like what I imagined. 2 of the siblings aren’t with us and there are days when I look at my bio kids and pray for God to protect their hearts and give them understanding of the situations beyond their young years. I find myself surrendering almost daily to God after I have selfishly tried to “fix” their problems or behaviors through tough discipline instead of stepping back and looking and praying to see what the root cause is. The flesh in me sighs at the truth that 12 years of hurt and damage will likely take as long to heal, but we cling to the truth that His mercies are new every morning…thank you for writing what I couldn’t put into words…I will be sharing with family who don’t understand why we “put up” with the things we do. God bless you in your journey… i hope to be able to attend a CFC conference one day 😉
Wonderful post Andrea. So many challenges unique to parenting a child who’s experienced trauma. How in the world is it done without God?!
I just wrote a post last night that is up at Hope at Home very similar to this– even some of the words are almost the same! I also included a song! We must have been on the same adoption page! blessings on you dear one!
Thank You! Thank You!
I totally understand how hard it is to describe all the feelings that go along the initial attachment process. No amount of training ahead of time prepare us for that. For me, the good outweigh the hard. But at the same time I find myself relying on the Lord so much more than ever with my bio kids. It’s a beautiful journey that is as much for the parent as it is for the child.
Andrea,
I have followed your blog since before your little one aome home. I have often thought it is great she is sharing the good things, but I knew there had to be some tough times too. I am glad you are now sharing that. For you see, I have two adopted daughters as well as a biological daughter who has also had to adjust to having adopted siblings. The first child I adopted was 9. All of my parenting skills were immediately challenged. And no matter how much I tried to love her and discipline with care, she pushed me away. It was two years before I felt like she really trusted me, but even today 7 years later, we still have “adoption issues” that have to be dealt with. But, I know she loves me and is bonded as a forever part of our family.
The second child I adopted was almost 12. She had been through 10 foster homes. I knew from experience that it was going to be a tough transition and even harder because she was so hurt. She was 100 times tougher than my other daughter. She screamed, she cussed, she threw things, she pushed us all away, she was suspended from school 4 times in six months. Through it all I was patient, and loving, and praying with her and for her to accept us as family. I sought out help for both of us and for all of us as a family. She refused to participate. I told her no matter how hard she pushed, I would always love her. Then, my second daughter came to me and told how she was being abused physically, mentally, and sexually by this little girl. I pushed to have her placed in a mental health facility so she could get the help she needed. She was there for 9 months. She refused to come home and threatened some pretty horrific things if she were forced. A judge finally decided that it was not in my other children’s best interest to take her back into our home.
She has been out of my home for three years now. There is a piece of my heart that will always be broken for the little girl who couldn’t accept family. Legally she is still my daughter, but last month she petitioned the court to change her name back to her biological name. The judge asked her why she wanted the change. And her answer was because they hurt me by wanting to love me, I don’t want to be loved. Breaks my heart. And, yes, I still love her with all my heart.
You are right adoption is not for the faint of heart. It can and does often end well. My first adopted daughter is now 16 and I can’t imagine life without her.
Thank you for sharing your truths. People need to be prepared for it when they say yes. That child will always have a biological family no matter how young they are when adopted. My daughter was horrifically abused and still, she wants to make contact with her dad (mom was murdered in a drug deal gone bad) because “he has probably changed by now”.
Sorry to be so wordy. It is just not often that folks write about the more challenging side of adoption. It is a journey of many ups and downs, but one that is worth taking. I would do it again in a heart beat, but right now my girls just don’t feel like they can go through it again.
God Bless,
Annie
This is my “blog”. I write it mainly for family, but feel free to read some of the trials we have been through. aknned.blogspot.com/
#1..LOVE that song. one of my faves. I have sang it many many times crying out to God.
#2..thanks for sharing the real story. so many times I have looked at blogs/fb updates and wondered “what is wrong with us?” because it didn’t look like what everyone else was sharing. I was exhausted and feeling so alone many times. and oh the guilt of not having oooey gooey feelings in the beginning with one of them.
thanks for sharing your heart.
Andrea, I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now while my husband and I have steadfastly prayed about adopting, but have never commented. We have three bio boys and are now in the home study process of adopting from Ethiopia! We are so excited and yet completely terrified at the same time. However, we know that He will equip us and lead us through this entire process. I just want to thank you for writing such an honest and sincere post. I plan to pass this on to our friends and family so that they can better know how to support us when we bring our little one home. I’m sure I will be rereading this in the months to come. It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone in some of the uncertainty that I’m already feeling. Thank-you! YOU are a blessing.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I saw the link on a friend’s facebook page. I have ‘always wanted to adopt’, though I know the challenges are immense. Reading your post made me wonder what you would say to someone who was where you were before this journey began for you?
Andrea- thank you thank you thank you! I have been feeling sooooo alone lately in this. I could write so much, but I just want to say, I identify so much with what you wrote in this post, and I totally think the Lord has used it to encourage me. Thank you so much for listening to Him and being transparent. I can’t thank you enough.
Thank you for your honesty and sincerity. These are the words our family needed to hear today. He alone is faithful. Praise the LORD!
This is Beautiful ,Thankyou needed this today !
Andrea, I really appreciate for your honesty. As we wait to pick up our little girl from China, I have been trying to prepare my heart for just how difficult, humbling, rewarding, crazy, yet beautiful our life with our daughter will be. I’m thankful for the example of godly mothers and families who have walked this path before us. It is such a blessing to have “met” you online although I wish I could ask you so much in person! Praise our Father who has adopted us out of lonely, desolate places, and set our feet upon the rock, and praise Him for allowing us to do the same for these little ones.
Excellent! I could relate to so much that you said. Especially the part about thinking you would have adopted again by now 🙂 We just celebrated three years home today (June 1st) with our daughter from China! Such a blessing! But oh so hard also. Been in the process to adopt from UG for 16 months and we wait for His clear direction.
Blessings to you!!! Thank you!!!