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My REALLY good…exciting…better than a movie news!!!

OK–I did not, have not and probably will not hear from AGCI today whether our home study was approved yet or not. I’m constantly reminded that the Lord is in control and He is the one carefully putting us in line where He needs us to be. He reminds me. Friends remind me. Me reminds me:).

And today–on top of my craziness, I’m home with a sick 5 year old. Got woken at 2am to a 5 year old whispering in my face–which led to barf…which led to my husband and I laughing our heads off at each other gagging…sorry I won’t give you more details to spare you—but it was a long night and an early morning. Which leads me to the P.S. I wrote about a few weeks ago…that I am TOTALLY and completely so excited about!

No, I’m not pregnant. But it’s even more exciting…to ME! More exciting than a movie. More exciting than winning the lottery. More exciting than just about anything I can think about! What?! What?! What you ask?! OK…here goes.

We have talked to A LOT of families adopting. We have “met” A LOT of families through our agency adopting. We have MADE a lot of friends in the process. Yes, yes–exciting and great…and much needed. But a few weeks ago I got a phone call that completely, utterly and amazingly ROCKED MY WORLD. I’m over the moon with excitement!

Meet the Debardelebens…

Fall 2009 267

Melissa and Dee and their 2 cuties
Melissa and I go back. WAY back. We first met in college…and were instant heart friends. We met through Campus Crusade for Christ, and after my junior year we ventured to East Asia to do mission work together. We were two peas in a pod. We not only got one another spiritually—but we also shared the same sense of humor and well…personalities. We loved scrapbooking. We both poked each other in the sides when Asians told us we needed to lose weight (complete cultural thing…and we both thought it was hysterical because by American terms we were too thin or normal) and we both could GO THERE in a heart beat with one another–sharing our hearts and not beating around the bush how we truly felt.
We came home, graduated and a few years later we both got married. Melissa and I were in one another’s weddings…and then we both moved to Atlanta—where thankfully our hubbies got along too. We started a couple’s small group and met on Thursday nights. We got the opportunity to go deeper as couples…and Richard and I were completely entertained by her hubby’s comments and WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION…you gotta know Dee…he’s an open book and a complete NUT!
To make a long story short—we LOVE this family!!! We celebrated pregnancies together. Supported one another at baby showers. And she was pregnant with her baby girl when I was pregant with Frank. Here are our babies TOGETHER at 4 months…don’t they look like they could be twins?!
IMG_7443
Why is Frank so serious?! And look at her little ham!
I’m over the moon, feel like I won the lottery, better than any movie feeling because a few months ago Melissa and I started talking about our adoption…and last month…she called me to tell me…THEY ARE ADOPTING!!!
I could almost cry just writing that. But for us–this is a huge milestone. We have our first friends joining us in opening their hearts and home to another baby through the miracle of adoption and we are over the moon excited for them…AND for us! One of our prayers was that God would bring other families into our lives that looked just like ours—for our children’s sake…especially our soon to be 4th child’s sake. I feel like it will be healthy for all of our children to do life with other families that are like ours and to even walk the road of adoption with. I never imagined in a million years that God would immediately call friends that we ALREADY had to adoption, and I am so thrilled!!!
They just made their news public, so I had to wait quietly and patiently on that before I could share!!! PLEASE keep Melissa and Dee in your prayers as they seek God in this amazing journey. Pray for direction as they consider different programs in Africa. Pray that the Lord would be their Jehovah Jireh just as He has been ours (and yours too). And follow their journey and celebrate this new gift of life they will bring into their family in 2010. You can follow what I know is going to be an amazing journey here: http://www.needlesslovemore.blogspot.com/
So…what could be better than having lifelong friends join you in making a deeper investment into eternity?! Nothing! Absolutely nothing. As Suzanne (from Joining the Journey) said in one of her recent posts that her mom’s motto in life is “Your children are the ONLY thing you can take to heaven with you”…so why not spend our time, money and efforts in the children God is willing by His grace and mercy to bless us with!
Melissa and Dee—thank you for following your Savior, your ABBA Father, your great Provider in obedience. Hold tight to Him during this journey. Richard and I are HONORED, BLESSED and absolutely SMITTEN to continue to do life with your family and to even now look a little more alike. M–who knew that 12 years ago as we stayed up late dreaming of how God might use us in a rat infested dorm in East Asia that we’d be on this road together…yet again. I love how God continues to cross our paths…over and over again. Sweet sister in Christ…I’m praying for you…and praying for this precious baby God has set apart for your family. LOVE YOU.
Jump for joy all ye people!!! Praise His holy name! He is faithful. He is good! He is worthy to be praised!!! Man, I feel like I could just write my own pslam this morning! And writing this post makes me realize all the more that WE are also in His perfect timing…and that HE and HIS PLAN is worth waiting for!!!
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Are These Kids All Yours? - November 5, 2009 - 9:07 am

Praising God with you!!!! How AMAZING!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love to hear that God is moving in someone's heart- and there will be one less orphan….now we just need to find a few million more (or 140million or so more) and heal our world!!! Yeah!!!

Heidi Armstrong - November 5, 2009 - 11:46 am

I'm so excited for you and I'm sure it will be so fun to have your dear friend to walk this journey of a lifetime with. I have been following your blog since the beginning .. I just LOVE your writing .. it's just straight from your heart and so captivating. We just sent in our Dossier last Friday. You too will get there before you know it.. just like you said it's all in God's timing. I'm praying for you. Here our blog address.. http://www.armstrongfamilyof5.blogspot.com

Melissa DeBardeleben - November 5, 2009 - 12:38 pm

We are excited to be joining this journey with you! Thanks for all your kind words!

angie - November 5, 2009 - 8:22 pm

small world again! joe knows dee! joe's little bro, tim, and dee are friends! i knew the last name sounded familiar so i was asking joe how we might know them!

so crazy 🙂

Kim - November 6, 2009 - 6:49 am

what great news!

Kristi J - November 7, 2009 - 11:22 pm

yayyyyyyyyy…it is just the beginning for you…God is going to blow your mind 🙂 WAy to go…one less orphan BECAUSE you guys said YES!!! kj

POP!

I might LITERALLY pop if I have to wait another day for our home study to be approved. Please feel free to comment to see if I have popped or not;). Also feel free to leave verses, wisdom, insight or encouragement on waiting and why waiting is good for me.

If you pass me on the road, sidewalk or in a hall at church—and my eyes are crossed—do not worry or be alarmed. It is just a sign of pre-poppage…exactly what I feel like I’m about to do.

And that’s all I have to say tonight. I wish I had more words, good insight about what I’m learning today or how great the adoption journey is—but pray for no poppage…and yes, peace too. Yes, that’s what I need. Peace. Ok people…bring on the wisdom;). I’m all ears.

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Are These Kids All Yours? - November 4, 2009 - 9:39 pm

Knees & prayer. That I am afraid is all the wisdom I have…..

The Young Family - November 4, 2009 - 9:52 pm

Just got off of them:)

Just read this from Andrew Murray's "Waiting on God":
"If we truly set ourselves to wait upon God, we will find that it is with Him we are impatient, because He does not at once, or as soon as we would wish, do our bidding. It is in waiting upon God that our eyes are opened to believe in His wise and soverign will. Then we will see that the sooner and the more completely we absolutely yield to it, the more surely His blessing can come to us."

Amy - November 4, 2009 - 10:35 pm

I am sorry. I hated waiting and it was awful and horrible and stressful, but it will all be over really soon I promise.

I guess you just have to trust that God has the perfect baby for you and you have to have it all put together at that PERFECT moment to get your child. I know that is probably not much comfort right now.

I hope tomorrow brings good news.

angie - November 5, 2009 - 4:18 am

okay andrea….PLEASE don't pop!!

i will say this! you have a LONG way to go and probably a lot of set backs to go as well. so, just sit back and take a DEEP breath!! i know it is hard, but you can do this 🙂

Emily - November 5, 2009 - 7:49 am

"The Lord will fight for you; you only need to be still." Exodus 14:14 (a favorite of mine for years and years) xoxo

Resubmitted:)

Donna, our home study coordinator, worked tirelessly last night and by midnight I received an email our revisions and updates had been submitted. Praying today not for speed—but for God’s timing. Wow. Did I really just say that? To be continued:)

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Erin - November 4, 2009 - 1:00 pm

That is great news!

Also, followed your great post about the movie taping last month. Hoping your assessment of Josh is more accurate than the one in the tabloids right now!

Melissa DeBardeleben - November 4, 2009 - 1:04 pm

Wow, that was great that she worked all night for you! I will pray for God's timing!!

Jenn - November 4, 2009 - 8:20 pm

wow…that is some fast turn around!! Our home study was sent back too this week and we are making revisions. But the good news is that has given us time to get our dossier completed! We are right behind you 🙂 Love following your story!

Jenn

The Young Family - November 4, 2009 - 8:28 pm

YAY JENN! We hopefully will be right there together now!!!! YAY! At least if we travel together…photographers on the same trip…we'll have rockin' pictures of us with our babies! YAY!

One word–and it’s not my favorite…

REVISIONS. Bleck. I don’t like that word. I had a feeling I’d hear it before it was over…and lemme just say for the record I don’t like it. SO…our submitted lab results didn’t have HIV results…after a few calls to our docs…it’s now done:). We have to put up fire detectors in every bedroom (they were just in the hallways) and create an evacuation plan. I’m on it, and it should all be cleared and sent through tonight. Evacuation plan…don’t you think everyone needs one of these?! Just created one and sent in!

Take 2 will start tomorrow. That’s Wednesday. And technically our agency has another 5-7 days to approve again…so technically they have 7 business days to approve again–which will be next Thursday at the latest (but you all know I’m hoping for sooner.) Fingers crossed this time is a “go” and we can mail in our dossier that may now be collecting some dust.

Again and again I am reminded that this is the Lord’s timing. But if you want me to be perfectly honest–after I got the revision news, I called a friend just to chat and instead I confessed to her I was tired and then just broke into tears. I am tired of the paper chase and just want to be waiting on a wait list. I’m tired of being asked to do yet another thing. And I’m tired of well…being tired. YET–it is part of labor pains, our journey and all of this work is just part of adoption. Just part of it. Yet, it is so miraculous.

I am reminded in this setback about my adoption in Christ. The Lord never gave up on me! He persued and persued until finally I was His daughter. OH…to think of the “setbacks” I gave Him as He persued me! How He must have cried. How *I* must have frustrated Him! Yet, He loved me with an undying love and did yet another thing and waited. He waited on the perfect time and led my heart to His. No matter how it pained. It wasn’t an easy road…for either of us–but it was perfect.

What a beautiful picture of our adoption in Christ when you think about it. I am amazed at the miracle of adoption and how we will do anything for a child we have never met…and love this baby already so passionately. To think Jesus loved me AND died for me before I was officially adopted as His daughter!!! ABBA FATHER! How good you are!!! Thank you for persuing me and loving me so much!

Romans 8:15 “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

I’m learning to wait…and the wait has only begun I’m afraid. This will be our year of waiting—our Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s, Easter, Memorial Day and Forth of July of waiting. Thank you for waiting with us and being a part of what God is doing in our hearts as we wait. Doesn’t His persuement of you and His faithfulness make you want to cry out Abba today!!!
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Melissa DeBardeleben - November 3, 2009 - 8:52 pm

Very encouraging! Thanks for making yourself vulnerable. I hate that you have to make revisions. I have my fingers crossed!

Amy - November 3, 2009 - 9:51 pm

I'm sorry. So they reviewed our home study last Thursday and told us that a few things needed clarified. We sent in the clarifications and everything was taken care of on Friday morning and our dossier was reviewed that afternoon.

This means they are looking at it and I imagine you will still have your dossier in by the end of the week! I imagine that the few things they brought up this time are all the revisions they are requesting so I bet you are really really close. Hang in there!

babyvogeltanz.wordpress.com - November 4, 2009 - 10:32 am

My husband and I always laugh that when you go to the hospital to have a baby all they ask you is, "Do you have a carseat?" then they send you on your way. But when you adopt, there are dozens and dozens of loops to jump through, tests to be taken, and revisions to be made. Laugh your way through the journey as much as possible…I promise it is all worth it!! Keep pressing on! Can't wait to hear where you land on the wait list!

The Power of Prayer…even babes cry out to Him!

Still waiting to hear from AGCI whether our home study is approved or needs revision. I left my cell phone in my car for a few hours yesterday simply so I could actually “live life” a little and not walk around waiting for water to boil and waiting for my cell to ring. I finally sent an email to Christy just “checking in”…now I’m THAT client;). Sorry, I just can’t help it…I’m so anxious to mail this sacred dossier in and no longer worry about it becoming a coloring book for my almost 4 year old and 5 year old.

On a very humbling, touching and sweet note—I am reminded to BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING, PRAY UNCEASINGLY and by prayer and petition submit my requests to God. Be anxious for nothing and the adoption journey do not go well together. For those of you adopting…can I get an AMEN?! I’m so thankful for the friends that God has put in my life who put prayer before me when my flesh and heart get ahead of what really is most important. I have a dear kindred spirit and heart-sister/friend that God put in my life as few years ago. I met Addie as a photography client and now she is one my bestest friends. She has felt led to pray every month for our baby–and we’ll be meeting on Fridays…the first Friday of every month to pray for the month ahead and for our baby. My sister, April, also joins her in this desire and I’m so thankful.

April and Addie both are on the Wiphan board and having these two sisters in Christ and bestfriends in my life who know Africa, the orphan crisis and ME so well makes for such a strong support system. They have cried with me, laughed with me, put me in my place and now they are sacrficing a Friday every month (WHILE THEIR BABIES ARE IN PRESCHOOL…mommas you know how sacred this time is!!!) to pray for our baby! WOW! That is the love of God right there pouring out into my life and our baby’s life!!! I may not be able to carry our baby in my tummy…I may not be able to take prenatal vitamins to ensure he is healthy…I may not be able to make monthly visits to the doctor to make sure he is okay–but the truth of the matter is really NONE of these things promise you a healthy baby! I am learning NOW (finally!) to TRUST the LORD in new ways for the care of my baby and children! GOD IS THE ONLY ONE!!! He is the only one who can protect my baby, see that he is fed daily and keep him well!!! This is also true for the children He has already given me. Now why do I think I have some control over the ones I have here or that I carried?! Jesus, help us as mommies rely MORE on YOU!!! Teach us that only you can protect our children!!! OH…that we would cry out to you on their behalf and not trust in doctors or ourselves!

On a sweet note, my bestfriend Kelly emailed me this week as she wants to come pray with us monthly but of course many of my friends have babies that aren’t in preschool yet and she will join us in prayer from afar:). She has been praying for our baby with her son Luke who is just 4. Here is his sweet cry out to the Lord night before last on behalf of our baby:
Luke prayed tonight…..”Be with Ms. Andrea when she gets that baby in Africa and help them find him a bed. Be with them as they fly over there. I’m not sure if Laney and Parker will go too. Maybe they will stay with their Nana.”

SO SWEET! Wow, this baby in Africa is not only drawing our hearts closer to the Lord but also the hearts of babes. Thank you Jesus for the power of prayer. Thank you that you hear us when we cry out to you. And thank you that YOU know our baby—that you created him—and YOU—ONLY YOU—can protect him, keep him well and bring him safely home to us. What do we have to fear? What do we have to worry about? Nothing when you are our God! Praise Him! Praise Him! He alone is worthy…and worthy to be praised!

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Kim - November 3, 2009 - 6:53 am

How gracious of God to bring such faithful prayer warriors into your life!
Praising Him,
Kim