Do you ever have to say something more than once? You know, when your heart knows you WANT to say it—you want to believe it—but you are having a hard time actually doing it? OK…so this is when I get really honest…forget about who is actually reading and lay it all out there…to bring more glory to the Lord in the end so that others may look into His miraculous work and see our Father in Heaven. Over and over again–daily…hourly and some times minute to minute during this process I have said that phrase…some times I have felt like I was lying…saying it enough until I could really believe it…and wanting so badly to really do it. Today–I just want to declare my leaving my worry, lack of trust, fear and wonder at the cross of Jesus. I AM GOING TO TRUST YOU LORD.
I am going to trust You. I am going to trust You because You called us to bring one of Your children home. Your voice is the one that we heard in our hearts. I believe in God. I believe I am Yours. And I believe Your Word is true. I trust Your promises…that You are faithful to finish what You start…You will supply all our needs according to Your riches and glory…You will never leave or forsake me…and if You are for us–who can be against us? I believe Your timing is perfect. I DO! I REALLY, REALLY DO!
For those of you who wonder where we are now in our adoption process…we are finishing up our home study (last visit!!!) on Monday, and our consultant said she’d have our study written in 7 days after. Our dossier is complete (minus a family pictures which will snag next week)—and as soon as our home study is approved we can send in our dossier and be placed on the waiting list. (Someone be ready to catch me…b/c I may literally pass out after we get a number.) I’m guessing we’ll have everything ready by the end of this month. Well…almost everything. This is where the I’m gonna trust You part comes in.
When we jumped into our adoption we knew the cost (well, we accepted it after we choked and Richard spit out his food over dinner;)–but had no idea that almost 3/4 of it would be due in the first few months. Yet, we felt the Lord saying TRUST ME. Richard and I want to be wise in how we pay for our adoption and want to avoid taking out a loan…so we’re paying for everything up front ourselves. We are trusting God to provide through my photography business, so I’ve been working harder than ever…many 3am nights…extra sessions…and of course early mornings with an 11 month old, 3 year old and 5 year old. The Lord has sustained us! When our dossier is completely ready to be mailed in with our home study at the end of this month–it will need to be accompanied by a second ginorous check. The Lord provided last month through my business in an AMAZING way. GLORY BE TO GOD!!!
Although I’m not quite sure how in the world in 2 weeks we will have what we need–I am going to trust the Lord. This weekend and next week I have 20 sessions. Yes, I said 20. For a stay-at-home mommy of 3 kids…I normally only shoot 2—and that’s enough to keep me up every night into the wee hours of the morning editing, ordering and packaging. Now, toss home study and dossier on top of that…and whew…it’s been a miracle. I have never shot 20 in a week…ever…but I’ve never had checks this big due back to back to back…and I’m trusting the Lord for strength. I’m trusting the Lord for energy. I’m trusting the Lord for friends and family to love on my children in my absence. It’s one week. Just a week. A week that I know in the end will be worth all the hard work. And I’m ULTIMATELY trusting GOD to provide for our adoption through the work. It’s not me–but Him who will do all the work. So again–I say to Him…I’m gonna trust You. I’m going to trust You for strength, creativity, and energy to not only beautifully capture these family but to love on them in the process. And in advance…I praise You Lord for your provision.
And to our sweet baby…this is how much we all love you!!! We will do anything to bring you home!!! The Lord has not forgotten you. He created you in your mother’s womb. Before any of your days came to be–they were numbered and He knew His plans for your life…that YOU would be OUR child…and MY how we can’t WAIT to love you!!! We are dreaming of you and can’t wait to love on you, get you all fattened up;) and to have you as a part of our family forever!
Running the race in obedience…and trusting the Lord for everything else. Please pray with us and for our family this week as we run this race! And please pray for all the families that are running with us to bring their babies home!!!